Helping

A couple of months ago, a friend was facing some problems. She spoke to me about them. I had never gone through something like that before so I wasn’t sure what to say. If I said something I knew that I might put my foot in it because she was rather sensitive, so I just kept quiet and tried to ask her to look on the bright side. She told me that my advice didn’t help and that she couldn’t expect me to understand, I didn’t listen etc.

I knew that I didn’t understand and I suppose that my words were not always helpful or what was needed at that moment in time. But at the same time, I was hurt. To be honest, I decided not to get involved anymore, which means withdrawing from our friendship somewhat and not going into personal touchy problems.

Tonight, I found myself in my friend’s position. Someone dear to me didn’t know what to say and I realised that. But something I realised was that she was well-intentioned. From my past experience, I realised that I cannot ask for more than that. I don’t want to alienate my friend by telling her that I really don’t appreciate her advice because I do.

It is the thought that counts.

Looking Back

So the juniors have received their results today. I’ve been looking at the entries from a year ago (specifically this one). I went through a lot last year in terms of decision making.

I keep telling people that I’m glad that I stayed. And I am.

But people are leaving, and that makes me sad.

The Year in Review (2008)

As mentioned in my FB note, we learnt about counting our blessings during Watch Night Service this evening (1 Peter 1:1-5). And we sang the old(er) song, Count Your Blessings, as the preparatory song. \

This year has been a year of new experiences and change, with university and all. Friends came and went. Guys went into the army. I started at a new school which was foreign and seemed rather unfriendly (but has gotten better).

The first 8 months weren’t particularly memorable. I did some relief teaching, debate coaching, tuition etc. The few memories that I have of those 8 months was failing and passing my driving test, not being able to write “nose” in Chinese, helping the debaters do well, getting my IB results back and (most importantly) deciding not to go to SOAS.

Real change came when I started university. It was a new experience and certainly was challenging both on the academic and social level. I rejoined debate (after quitting in ACS), joined VCF and took crazy modules (like a political thought one in my first semester). My social circles have changed somewhat and have become more diverse.

———

When upon life’s billows
You are tempest tossed
When you are discouraged
Thinking all is lost
Count your many blessings
Name them one by one
And it will surprise you
What the Lord has done

It’s been a tempest-y year in some senses. Relationships haven’t always been smooth sailing. But through it all, I’ve learnt that God is still in control and I just need to trust Him. His will is perfect and He knows exactly what He’s doing.

———

Are you ever burdened
With a load of care
Does the cross seem heavy
You are called to bear
Count your many blessings
Every doubt will fly
And you will be singing
As the days go by

It’s been a year in which I’ve been tried and tested with regards to my faith, from my principles about money and why I don’t just go overseas to study, to why I want to work in an NGO. Sometimes I’ve felt all alone because it seems like no one understood why I stood for something that I did and why I felt a burden for something (like Youth Alpha).  Not just that, but I’ve also felt cares and burdens for things that are not my business, like conflice among friends and friends making bad decisions. I’ve felt tired of caring, but I knew that I worried because I cared. But all in all, it has worked out and I know that if God wants me to care for or do something, then He will provide me with the strength and will to do so.

———

When you look at others
With their lands and gold
Think that Christ has promised
You His wealth untold
Count your many blessings
Money cannot buy
Your reward in heaven
Nor your home on high

As I decided not to go to SOAS and not to go into lucrative degrees like Law etc., I was faced with frustration because I saw friends enjoying themselves with prospects of good jobs with good money. Admittedly, it’s hard to continue with dreams when the world tells you that it will not be something “successful”, especially when I’m surrounded by ambitious people who have dreams of being rich and to retire early. But in wrestling with these things, I’ve realised that my worth does not lie in material wealth (for that is fleeting as we see in the economic crisis this year) but in what I can do with what I have and how I can please God, for where my treasure is, there my heart is also.

———

So, amid the conflict
Whether great or small
Do not be discouraged
God is over all
Count your many blessings
Angels will attend
Help and comfort give you
To your journey’s end

As mentioned earlier, this year has not been devoid of conflict. I’ve had conflicts with others and have had to mediate other conflicts. Yes, it does get discouraging when people don’t see eye to eye and people that you love get hurt. I’ve learnt to trust God because He gives the ultimate peace and He works in ways we cannot see or understand. But at the same time, in the midst of conflict, I’ve realised a gift and calling that I have to mediate and bring peace as far as I can. We’ll see where that leads me.

———

Count your blessings
Name them one by one
Count your blessings
See what God has done
Count your blessings
Name them one by one
Count your many blessings
See what God has done